Lost…literally

Lost. So my sister brought the entire boxset and I've pretty much been watching it the last few days and I'm currently finished Season 3 and sorry but...WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON!? And I don't mean that in a good confused way either.

Okay maybe I'll need to watch the rest of it to gain a better understanding of it but for now I stand by my belief that Season 3 is just awful and eurgh...it's gone from being about people who crash on an island trying to survive and that. Sure throw in a polar bear or two to generate more mystery. Oh and mysterious cursed numbers that pop up everywhere? Let's have that too. People known as The Others? Ooh I'm curious? A massive missing statue with only a foot remaining and that foot has only four toes? What? Pregnant women who die if they conceive on the island? Walt mysteriously appear to people in illusions? Okay. I've had enough of this shit. You are not answering any of the questions really and the show is still persisting with this...this...urgh...man, the first few seasons were all I ever needed to watch in regards to Lost.

Protect me from the cold

The weather is ridiculously cold and which makes mornings such a chore...okay, even more of a chore then. I'll be glad when this season is over because then I can warm up and look forward to not worrying about whether if I step out of the house wondering if I'm going to get frostbite or hypothermia.

I suppose I don't make things easier for myself what with the choice of jackets and coats I wear because mentally I'm insistent that it's not cold enough to justify wearing it and that I'll warm up on the tubes and buses and that I'll spend more of my time indoors and just being hot in the winter jacket I have but I suppose sooner or later I'm going to have to just put it on and I may as well start that now.

Distance

It's difficult really, I really have no clue anymore about certain stuff. It's annoying because I miss you and miss chatting to you and can't help the feeling that you resent me or something even though I know it isn't true (hopefully).

I don't know what it is you think of me but I just feel really bad how I've been with you and stuff and what makes me feel even worse is that I'm bad with things like that. Without prodding from the other person I will neglect them, not because I don't care or anything like that but because I'm too in love with myself. I'm too into myself and not just that I keep myself to myself a lot.

I have plenty of friends that I haven't spoke to in a long time but it's really because I haven't seen them in a while. I could text or email them or whatever but that doesn't have the same feel as actually being there in person and I think that's what's happened here, that I'm...I dunno incapable of really making that effort of really keeping up but just know it's not intentional or anything like that and that I'm really just, I don't know...sorry I guess.

A slippery slope

Get me down, it's like things are conspiring to do just that or is just my imagination? Who knows, but anyway...must remain positive and all that.

So I was thinking at work at how did I end up here doing this...in a job where I deal with people when lets face it, humans aren't very high up on my "things I like" list but alas here I am dealing with them.

I guess when you deal with customers or about nearly anything in life the negative experiences tend to stick out more than the positive ones but there's something that bugs me right now and that is that in relation to what I mentioned earlier and that is that I can feel myself slipping...

I tell you what though, I reeeeeeally am not looking forward to life when I get older...assuming I live that long.

My book of rhymes

Okay here we go. So I'm listening to some Blueprint 3 outtakes and then I thought about the time I was just writing songs and then I went over to check some of them and then I was reminded of why I never really finish it, simply because I will look at a line or something while I'm in a different mindset that I originally thought was pretty good and then I think "What. The. Fuck. Was. That". I never know how to feel about some lines, whether to think "ohh that was pretty good to me" or "hmm, I don't like that line now". I can't completely reject them as that was my mindset at the time but ahh well. Maybe I should get back into it and actually really put thought into it but I know that's never really going to happen heh.