Saturday 5 March 2011

Positive and negative

So a neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink and asks how much it is and the barman replies "For you, no charge"

(BOOOOOO, GERROFFF THE STAGE!!!)

I got a call today and what was that for? Well it's for Yoomoo and an interview after they read my CV and come Monday I'll see what my job situation will be like then so I'm hoping for the best and I will go all out and really try to get this thing...which brings me to the thing I was thinking about in the first place. Me.

Yes yes I know I know, I think about myself a lot and yes I am incredibly self centred and all that but in a way I think that it's a good thing in some ways because, it's because I think about myself so much that my biggest critic is me and only me, you would not believe the amount of criticism I hurl at myself, I am very rarely satisfied with my own performance whatever it is and always believe I could have done things better and more efficiently and what not.

I also genuinely believe in myself and my abilities, I strongly believe that my limit is non existent and that I can do anything given motivation, time and a lot of other factors. I feel this way constantly, when I do tests and exams, no matter if I go out all out and try hard, I always manage to convince myself that no I didn't, I can do better, that I should have revised more or whatever because I can do it, I never see a reason why I can't do it...ever. This trait is also apparent whenever I play football too as at the end of every match (pre injury), I would feel disappointed whenever I did not get man of the match, because it felt to me that people were just over looking my contribution to the game and my influence but at the same time I believe that yes I did do good but I could've done more.

I suppose that means that when I did get it I would be happy right? Wrong, whenever I got it I would feel that I could do massively better and that I'm being awarded it on some basis that I really did not want to be judged for, like I didn't get man of the match for the "right" reasons.

So that's me yeah, do I feel that people do not understand me? Well duh of course, I think of myself as being very simple and complex at the same time. I apologise if that last sentence came across as being whiny and that (no I don't but whatever), but I say this because as I was thinking about myself today, mainly my attitude I don't know, but it seems to me that people just consider me a negative person but I digress, I think of myself as a realistic, oft mistaken for in these times and that if anything, I'm more positive than negative, no the sky is not collapsing and no there aren't pigs flying but it's true I think. I don't think that I intentionally make comments of the negative variety it's just that negativity and realism is such a fine line that it's easy to mistake one for the other, in times of hardship I will try and focus on the positive, I'd think and tell of an example but right now I believe that my time on this is up so in the words of a Liverpudlian presenter, ta-ra for now.

The Samba Magician is back

Ahhh, a return to the big time....okay maybe not but this is the next best thing right? Right? Okay maybe not but whatever, I'm back baby and I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble-gum......and I'm all out of gum. *checks pockets* No, wait wait, I've got some, I've got some. So my first match is up against Farnborough or some sort, like I say to everyone, I never actually care about the team we face, I just turn up, do my business and that's pretty much it, opposition just does not interest me.

Rightio, time to play methinks...

Aaaaand, now I'm done and feels good being back playing football and just as I expected fitness was a bit of an issue but it was all good. We won 3-2 after being 2-0 down but you didn't come here to read about how the team did, you came here to read about me right...or, maybe not, fine in my opinion the team didn't do so well in the first half especially as the PASSION and GRIT™ just was not there but more importantly to a player of my type, the skill or lack of it was missing, passing and just keeping possession of the ball, it reminded of why exactly I think watching football especially as a substitute is boring and dull....not to mention I'm freezing my nutsacks as well standing on the side-lines. Before long we were down 2-0 and as per usual I'm having dreams of dragging the team back to a stupendous victory.

The second half however perked up mainly because I was linesman for a bit and got a run out in the last 10 minutes but by that time we already had came back by 3 goals so there was not much for me to do but run about and do some passing (which I did well I believe) and take a shot but the less said about that the better.

My aim is to get fit and reclaim the metaphorical throne, why? Because I'm Jason Mycroft and you should accept no substitutes. No seriously, I just want to be able to play with no fear and be good at what I do, so I've made this step and now the only way to go is up. Up indeed.

Friday 4 March 2011

We Are Lasers

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Lupe Fiasco has always been one of my favourite artists in music, his storytelling, wordplay and metaphoric rhymes have always been one to make me actually listen and pay attention to his songs so of course I was going to be pretty hyped for Lasers (Love Always Shines Everywhere, Remember 2 Smile)...whenever it was going to come out.

On first impressions, I was always going to be disappointed with the album as it had release date problems and label issues meant I was worried about how exactly this would turn out. I heard Shining Down and liked it but it was obvious that it was a song for radio and all that, I also heard I'm Beaming which I also liked but again, was a song for the radio but it was all good, but I was still waiting for the album.

Then I got wind of the track list and such is the recent trend that's been going round, it was 12 tracks.

No. No. And no. Getting hyped up for this album for 12 tracks, I was somewhat disappointed as I don't know, I was expecting a 15+ album but what can you do. Upon further inspection of the track listing you had to note the complete lack I'm Beaming and Shining Down (later added as bonus tracks) and no Matthew Santos or Gemstones. This was going to be different, wait what. Trey Songz is one of the guests? Oh...kay, that's worrying. Sway is on it? Interesting, I was curious to hear how that goes as I want to hear how Sway's style would fit into it. This will be an interesting album.

Then Words I Never Said and All Black Everything came out and I had sort of learned from the My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy saga not to listen to it as it will spoil my listening of the album and there weren't many tracks on the album so I wanted to enjoy it as a whole. Anyway, after finally listening to the album, I felt slightly...meh, nothing special here, my most liked tracks being the bonus tracks, 'Words I Never Said', 'Never Forget You' and 'All Black Everything' and the others were okay, not brill but okay with lots of people slating 'I Don't Wanna Care Right Now' and the use of auto tune. I conceded that this wasn't a patch on Food & Liquor and The Cool but I think that was expected but was the album going to be consigned to the graveyard on my iPod along with others or would it be getting constant plays at various times?

It's not horrendous, no, not at all, in fact it's starting to grow on me, even that Trey Songz song 'Outta My Head' and that I do like some of the tracks but then when I give recent tracks like SLR (TEN FO'!), Fire, We Can Do It Now and Go To Sleep, I just think, it could have been better and that.

Here's hoping his next few albums are amazing again, right now I'm going to listen to it all again.

Wednesday 2 March 2011

Return to football

So I'm making my return to football training after around a year out and I'm pretty nervous but hopefully I'll come through it unscathed and all. Also pretty excited because if I do get through it, I'll be glad to be back playing football again.

A little while later...

Well I'm still here, no ill effects, not from sprinting, not from kicking, nor from twisting and turning however this was all done without a support band for my knee which I don't think I shall do ever again. I also think that maybe it was due to my fitness...or lack of it really that I didn't really try too hard or anything, which means I didn't really push myself to the limits which I'm hoping to do so over time as being fit is better than not being it (duuhhh, what next, the sky is blue?). So right now as I sit on the train the back of my knee feels a bit sore but that's merely just because it hasn't been used vigorously and the muscles will need to put in their fair shift now I have less cartilage than before. What I do hope is that my knee and my performance goes back to what it was before it all happened so then I can update this here blog with exploits of my matches and all that.

To be honest I could just shy away and not put in much effort and just be a background player but fuck that, I'm going all out for this, it'll benefit me in the long run.